I had the opportunity to go to an Indian wedding last weekend and it was wonderful. The bride is a former illam child. It's nice to see how the children turn out after they leave.
The illam was buzzing about the wedding all weekend. Dhivya left several years ago so only some of the older children knew her. The day before a few of the girls spent hours tying flowers together to put in everyone's hair. And I got a lovely mehndi (henna) design.
It was an arranged marriage, as are most marriages in small villages and towns around here. Divyha met her husband for the first time when they took engagement photos and all of the wedding preparation was conducted through Dhivya's family. Apparently everyone is very satisfied with the match. He has no family but is well educated with a good job.
The main hall had a stage at the front which was crowded with people giving gifts to the couple, putting flowers around their necks and taking pictures. A lot of people give money as gifts and the amounts are all meticulously noted down because if in the future, Dhivya goes to the wedding of one of the guests, she is expected to give them at least as much as they gave her. Complicated!
The illam was buzzing about the wedding all weekend. Dhivya left several years ago so only some of the older children knew her. The day before a few of the girls spent hours tying flowers together to put in everyone's hair. And I got a lovely mehndi (henna) design.
About a 15 of us packed into a van that's meant for far less people, and we headed to another city for the wedding. When we arrived we were greeted by several billboards announcing the nuptials.
All of the women were so beautiful in their fancy and colorful saris and there were several musicians playing typical Tamil songs, with huge amplifiers of course. There were thousands of people and Nagarathana thinks it cost about $15-20,000. Ceremonies are incredibly important here and Poor families will sometimes take out large bank loans just to be able to put on a wedding. Dhivya's family had just sold a piece of land and so was able to cover the cost and pay the dowry, which is supposed to be illegal but is apparently still done. Just the idea of dowries seems ridiculous to me, not to mention a huge burden on the bride's family. Dowry's were made illegal because no one wanted to have daughters. When we were at the hospital the other day they even had a sign stating they wouldn't tell expecting parents the gender of the fetus.
The main hall had a stage at the front which was crowded with people giving gifts to the couple, putting flowers around their necks and taking pictures. A lot of people give money as gifts and the amounts are all meticulously noted down because if in the future, Dhivya goes to the wedding of one of the guests, she is expected to give them at least as much as they gave her. Complicated!
Upstairs was a large dining hall where people sat at long tables, each with a banana leaf, and servers came around with buckets full of rice, vegetable curries and other delicious foods.
On the way home we stopped at a nursery where the girls were excited to each pick a flower to bring home.
Wonderful detail! I met an Indian woman who picked me up on a moped to go to the wedding of her son in Mysore. She had stitched peepul leaves together to make all the eating mats for the dining tables! A warm, generous people!
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